A young man is ambling through the forest when he comes upon a small but attractive frog. To his surprise, the frog looks up at him and says "I have been abducted by a wicked witch. If you kiss me I will turn into a princess." He leans down and lifts the frog, places it in his pocket, and walks on.
"Hey" comes the voice from his pocket, "If you kiss me I will turn into a princess and marry you then you will be a prince!" The young man doesn't reply.
"What's the matter with you? Are you gay? You don't have to marry me!"
"Okay, we won't get married, we'll just live together and I'll do my best to still make you a prince."
"Okay you don't have to stick around if you don't want to, we'll just have a one night stand!"
"We don't even have to leave the forest, if you kiss me we'll get into it right here!"
The young man puts his hand in his pocket, lifts the frog out, stares it in the eye (it doesn't matter which one) and says: "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I have no time for girls, but a talking frog is really neat!"